The Distance Between Where I Am and Where I Want To Be

by Student Affairs

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released May 23, 2015

Nicholas Mora (Vocals/Drums)
John Fernezan (Drums/Vocals)
Esteban Escobar (Bass/Guitar)
Matthew Nieves (Guitar/Bass)

All Recording/Mixing/Mastering done by Nicholas Mora & Esteban Escobar.

Special thanks to David Garcia



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Student Affairs Allentown, Pennsylvania

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Track Name: Departure
She said, "I don't cry in front of anyone," but she's pouring, pouring tears right in front of me
She causing a flood that may last months, maybe years
Maybe until the day the I finally give in and drown, so she can turn that frown into a smile, it'll take a while
And there's not enough oxygen in my lungs to keep me afloat until you can speak another word clearly without a slur
My fear is now reality, blasphemy, oh blasphemy.
The salt of her tears, taste like more like sugar, but the only rush is the movement of blood in my body needing of somebody to give me air before these waves start flowing like your hair
Give me mouth to mouth, press your tongue into my lips, speak words with your lisp
Track Name: An Epitome
You're drunk and you think you're better than everybody else.

Well hell,
it has nothing to do with you drinking it's just the way you've been lately thinking. If I'm the one with the ego, then I must be slow to get to your exceeded level, maybe because I've been taking my time to stoop so low to your devil.

You were drinking shots as your body decomposes, taking the shots until your body is full of bruises.

Red blood and blue eyes, purple circles on your skin. I'm waking up in the morning and I'm wondering where you've been.
Track Name: Labels Lead To Hurt Feelings
I know why the cage bird sings. It has nothing else to do.
All alone in its cage, its songs are of freedom of spreading its wings and being carried by the breeze, off to find the place they say is somewhere over the rainbow.

I know why the caged bird sings. It sings because it has to. TO remember the days without sorrow and pain, to remember that the sun is still shining, to remember that there is a future to be had.

I know why the caged bird sings. IT sings as if on cue. It has no control on when it can sing, the man with the fancy car, fancy house, and fancy suit does. and when the bird opens its beak. The man says be quiet.

I know why the caged bird sings. it sings cause it’s at the zoo. being laughed at and teased by everyone around him, like he is some kind of freak, like he’s any different. But he’s not you know. Why don’t you just give him a chance?

I know why the caged bird sings. It sings for me and for you, to remind us that there is still a chance.

That all is not lost, to not give up hope, to hang in a little longer, it will all get better soon.
Track Name: Chess
It’s the most important game you’ll ever play
The one that picks our fate, the one that picks if you’ll stay
And if you choose to leave now, if you go far away
You’ll leave me here alone, not that you cared anyway.

So help me hoist this flag, get my ship out to sea
I should refrain from plurals, I should stop saying we
‘cause I’m alone on this ship, there’s no one but me
So decree me captain apathetic, in charge of corps de espirit

Sometimes I wonder what it’s like to feel at home
Instead I sit on this grass, like a giant gnome
Wish you would answer my calls, wish you’d pick up your phone
I think I've got you figured out

I’m singing this song as a caution
So that you won’t expect anything from me
I’m nothing more than a vessel
Whose hull is rusted and rickety
I’ve been through my fair share of storms
One more and I may be dragged down in the sea
I want to Welcome you aboard my ghost ship.
The ghosts around here only make you feel lonely

Make you feel lonely...

You were sent here to haunt me. To remind me of my past,
So I could finally understand, good things will never last.
I’m being forced to mature. I’m growing up too fast.
I’m on the laneway of life, and I think my car has crashed

With a mind full of thought and guitar in hand
I'll write you a song, but it wont go as planned
I will start to feel, and my heart will pour out.
about how i've lost faith and in its place lies doubt

There is nothing you can do so don't try and fix me.
For i am not broken, This I proudly decree.
I'm socially awkward and emotionally impared.
I think i've figured myself out, I = apathy Squared
Track Name: Anymore
Does what I have to say even matter anymore
Well with the way you’re acting it sure doesn’t seem like it
You ask why I’m in my room, Why I choose to shut the door
I stand silent, you wouldn’t like the answer

You say pain is all I give you , that I am no good.
Well I don’t mean to, I swear that I don’t
Maybe if you give me another chance, I could try to make amends

But it seems it’s too late, you’ve made up your mind

I don’t matter anymore

I don’t matter

Now I’m sitting at my desk, all alone in my room
Wondering where we went wrong
I’m skimming through the past, try to figure it all out
But I can find no answer but one

I am like a scientist, lost and confused
So I do what I know how to do.
I collect all the data, set up an experiment.
And then I think I’ve gotten the answer

My hypothesis is the same as my conclusion

I don’t matter anymore
Track Name: Full House//John Stamos
Laying in bed playing Sorority Noise in the background ,
And I'm as quiet as a mouse.
It's the only thing keeping me alive these days,
and preventing me to shout
from this dilemma I call my life...
A dilemma that I don't know about. This home isn't home,
it's sadly just a house.
And I just found out...
And I just found out.
No wonder it always feels so empty.
Track Name: Conditional Love
The tears rolling down my face
Profess my pain and enforce my claim
About you and all that you do

It’s a cry of defiance not of fear
as I look at the world from way down here
and I’m scared, but the problem is clear

When all else fails just eat your feelings
Avoid eye contact and dirty dealings
And you’ll do fine, it gets better over time

And yeah, I’ve changed from who I use to be
You said I could be anyone, so I chose to be me
Guess that’s wrong, and you were right all along
Track Name: Unwanted
You're bitter again from my actions when I said you were just a friend and that this was going to end
Right where it started,
I'm sorry I startled WHEN you said you wanted me,
I mean,
I'm flattered but I just can't see you with me,
I'm blind to the reality of being with someone with a life so tragically.

I kissed you between your whisper,
I love you was going to be your statement,
so I lingered around for a while to make you hate me for who I actually am, hurting you was never the plan, and love,
I just hope you understand that people like me are no good
and that's the lesson for today,
and I pray to whatever god you look up to,
to forgive your mistake
since I am not easily replaced
Track Name: Thoughts Of Summer
A lot of people are a lot less than they make themselves to be.
Too full of themselves to get what they want and aren't honest with anyone including themselves.
And these people see life the way everyone is taught.
We're all brainwashed to believe the same way
and when we shy away from what's normal
we go back because everyone thinks we're crazy.
And I'm not talking about looks and superficial bullshit.
I'm talking about when we start to think about things
in a very different way and start to believe
what no one else has ever believed or even thought of from what you know.
And you think "is this right or is this wrong"
and then you realize that there is no such thing as right or wrong.
They made it up so we could follow and they could have control of us.
I'm not really sure who they are but there is a they.
And I stopped listening to what they say when
I get a moment to breathe and get away from what I'm forced to do.
I don't know why we're forced.
I mean it benifits us in some way but it makes us one big social experiment.
I don't even know if this makes sense anymore
I'm just putting down whatever pops into my fucking head.
Track Name: Arrival
Everybody has their own escape
everybody does
It usually hides the pain they have to hide the pain because
The cruel world we live in, this world is cruel it's true
It has no mercy on me it sure is hell won't have mercy on you
I wish somebody told me as a kid how cruel this world could be
That life would be full of pain life would be full of tragedy they'd say hey kid you watch out for despair
It's a cruel world we live in and it only gets worse from here
I wish it could've happened that way I really wish it did
Probably could've saved a lot of tears turned out to be a normal kid but
It's not all bad though I mean hey I turned out to be me
Also found the answer to life losing all hope is the key